Sunday, June 29, 2008
Limbo
The past week I have been in what I would call limbo... I actually didnt realize that I was in "limbo" until I got a call from someone that helped me work the 12 Steps... without going into full conversation it brought me to a point where I really needed to think about where I want to go with continuing the 12 Step program in a more traditional way... ie.. meetings, sponsor, phone calls etc... Thru out this whole time of working the steps I recognized that I would have to tweak some things. Going thru each step and learning more about OA I did realize I would not be able to follow the program to the exact tee.. and that was fine for me... now I am at the point where I need to commit fully to the program or continue what I am doing now.. I feel so blessed to have worked the steps and discovered so much about myself and how it has effected me and others around me.. I am convinced that it has helped me to grow spiritually, I am convinced that it will continue to help me grow stronger in all areas of my life, I am committed to keeping it in my life but the same way that I have been.. I have really thought and prayed about it and I have decided that I am going to do this my way for now.. I know this may not be the decision that some would want me to arrive at but it is the one I feel comfortable with.. I will continue to read my daily meditations, continue to work the steps on my own.. I will reach out if I feel I am struggling. I feel that Weight Watchers, this journal, my medication and most importantly my faith is what I will continue to work and grow at daily... for I truly believe that God has been the major part of this journey and will continue to guide me each day.. for this I am at ease with myself and my decision.. for now I am going to continue to take " One Day at a Time" and continue to pray the Serenity Prayer.
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3 comments:
for what it's worth I do believe you are making the right decision - Mame
hi so proud of what u are doing with your life right now. just keep on doing what u have been doing and always remember we all need support no matter what is in our life always. you are taking the right steps to keeping your body and mind in healing. remember there are so many people out there that don't even know us but are praying for us!! love and prayers mom and don
I must clarify again the first word of the first step is WE, so there is no working the steps alone. In my humble opinion, there is knowledge that comes from having read through the steps and doing some of the work required of each step, but overall the steps are like reading the bible, you get a new experience on the same material depending on where you're at in your journey.
Be careful not to fool yourself into thinking the work you have previously done will serve you in the future. That would be like Satan lulling you to sleep. Right? We are either going forward or backward, just like he said in the sermon at church today.
You said “I have really thought and prayed about it and I have decided that I am going to do this my way for now.”
This sentence is the reason I am responding. You have openly stated doing it your way for now. You might have meant to say not the OA way, but you clearly didn’t say God’s way and that is the way to be doing it. Not my way, your way, their way, but HIS way. You seem confident you are connected to God right now, that is important, but then practicing giving HIM credit is too. As a friend, who has been practicing seeking God’s will and still has to work with others to stay on HIS path, not mine, I felt compelled to share.
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