Down

Weigh in today and down 1.6 lbs... we had a great meeting lots to share.. I shared about my blog and how happy I was the other morning when I looked in the mirror and thought Damn, I look good.. how happy I was at my weight and how unhappy that weight would have made me at one time in my life.. some people laughed and understood what I was saying... I voiced how I was enjoying the journey and how I am enjoying each stage of my weight loss... I am about 20 lbs from my goal weight but really am taking it one day at a time... I just am so happy at how I am doing this time in weight loss and changing from the inside out... I am striving to be a happy & healthy person and I am getting there...

3 Month Anniversary

Your Quit Date is: Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 12:00:00 PM
Test Time Smoke-Free: 90 days, 15 hours, 6 minutes and 26 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 1813
Lifetime Saved: 13 days, 20 hours
Money Saved: $318.50

Compliments

Yesterday I got 2 compliments 2 very different compliments but it was so nice.. The first was from Duane.. now for those of you that know Duane you will get a kick out of this one.. he came home from work I was on the deck cutting Nick's hair.. I had on some new clothes (the ones I had on when I looked at myself in the mirror and thought wow you look pretty good) anyway, he says to me "those shorts make your a*s look small" then "you can really tell you are losing weight" so I am seeing the same in the mirror as others are seeing me in person.. recently I have had a few people tell me how they can tell I am losing and that I look great.. that is so nice to hear.. the 2nd complimet has nothing to do with my weight loss.. I went to watch some softball games last nite ( parents of kids at daycare) and just enjoyed talking and meeting some new people. I of course played with Sami and Carter and did what I do with kids.. later on a mom asked me "did you do daycare when you came here 9 years ago?" I replied "no". She said , "that is too bad because I would have chosen you when I was looking when I needed daycare, you would have been my pick you just seem to have what I was looking for." I thanked her for the compliment and said, " I just can't seem to keep myself away from kids" she said, "well you know if it is your passion / love then that is what you should do" That really made me feel great not that I dont know that I am great with kids it is nice for a total stranger to observe me with kids and reafirm my feelings.. so 2 compliments in one day. Wow!!!! It sure was nice.. so give someone a compliment today it will make them Smile!!!

Just Thinking

So lately I have been thinking of how ironic life is.. yea I know scary thought.. but anyway here goes.. So I can remember when I was at my lowest weight of 98 lbs (when I got married in 1983) and thinking if I weighed 110 lbs it would be horrible ... then thru the years of up and down I would think the same at different weights.. thoughts of if I EVER got over 150lbs I would just die.. then 160 then 170 and etc... at one time in my life I was at 235 lbs... and then I would think I cant get over 250... I never did.. this past time my Oh God moment was I am over 200lbs.. during these years I would think how horrible I looked at different weights.. well this time on this journey I am looking at things and myself differently.. it hit me the other morning when I was getting dressed in some new clothes.. I looked at myself and thought Damn, you look good.. now keep in mind I have about 24lbs to go.. but I thought that!!! What the hell how can I look good at this weight when other times I HATED myself at this weight.. now I think I look pretty good.. I can remember after I had the kids and thinking how bad I looked now when I look at pictures I am like What the Hell were you thinking? I looked good and I would give anything to look that way again but I know it is not going to happen.. What I am striving for now is to be at a healthy weight to feel good about myself and that is all.. the only reason I have a weight goal in mind is because at WW if you reach your goal you are a lifetime member and dont pay for the meetings but more importantly I would like to work at some compacity at WW's.. if it a goal weight that I dont feel comfortable at getting at or maintaining then I wont do it.. I can get a note from dr saying a certain weight is good for me and they will accept that at WW's for Lifetime membership but I wont be able to work for them. I just feel that I have alot to offer to others at WW's and would like to share my struggles and triumphs with them.. but I will cross that bridge when the time comes... so that is what I will do... so my words of wisdon to anyone who reads this is is THIS: enjoy each stage of weight loss look at yourself and see how good you REALLY look ... because you do.. dont judge yourself as hard as you know you do... go back look at yourself when you thought you were sooooo fat and you really werent just not happy with yourself you will be suprised and think to yourself "What was I Thinking?" Just enjoy yourself!!!

What goes up must

GO DOWN!!!!! Woohoo...... down 3 Lbs this week... back on track and staying out of Restaraunts.. well not fully.. did go to Pablos with friends on Thursday nite... it was a great meeting on Saturday not just because I lost but because Marcella (my older friend) LOL lost 3.4 lbs she was so happy and pleased with herself.. I am happy for her too she really has been struggling but we all know how to help her lose and we are watching her... so hopefully we will both have a great weigh in next week..... oh and by the way have I said how much I LOVE WW.??

Relay Day

Friday started off as a normal day.. however it did begin to warm up and because of the bad storms on Thursday afternoon they were again predicting the same for Friday nite I received a email stating that the Relay would be held inside... well considering the heat and the predictions for storms it was understandable but dissappointing.. even though I have never particiapted in the Relay I have gone to observe and watch a few times.. so I knew this was going to be different.. I arrived at the Jr High at 6:30 and walked in to a force of hot and crowded building.. Everything was set up the best as could be but it was cramped...Duane and I attended the opening ceremony and then watched some entertainment (Ellie & Tim ) in the daddy / daughter dance. I then went to meet with the team in our cramped classroom. I then decided to start walking the halls of the school... why? they were lined with the lumarie bags...thousands of them all in rememberance or dedication to friends, family ...mom, dads,gramas,grampa, siblings and on and on.. Now seeing this sight is breathtaking to realize how cancer has affected so many . What was so disappointing is knowing that we would not be able to light them.. They did have a ceremony but only lit about 20 in the auditioriom. it was moving but not the same.. I stayed till about 10:30 after walking for Kroup and then came home with plans of coming back early in the morning.. which I did (very early) to find everything was done and over with.. because of it being inside and so many people leaving they decided to close it down early... sad... but the great news is that Meadowspring Church raised over $6000 and the whole event raised over $155,000 so it was a GREAT success.. I am looking foward to next year and experiencing this again... Again, to all that donated thank you...

Relay for Life

This Friday is Relay for Life and I am so excited to be apart of this. I have been there to watch but this is my first time participating and I am sure that it will take it to a whole new level. I want to thank everyone who donated I made my goal of $1000.00 I did put a new goal in of $1500 but fell short but not by much.. I so blessed to have great friends and family to donate.. I will have to have pictures to post. Hopefully the weather will hold out and we will have a great nite. Again, thanks to all and I will be walking in honor of all of your friends and family that have fought this disease and are still fighting... May God bless them.

Love

One question??? Why does love sometimes hurt?

Feeling ???

Today has been an odd day... if I could describe it would be me personally.. the past few days have been feeling odd... lonely, out of touch, & pissy... Don't really know why just really not feeling like I have friends... you know ones that you can hang out with, shop with or just call and talk to ... I know that since leaving Kids Count I lost alot of friends/aquaintences and even though I ended up losing them as friends I do miss them.. Or the comardery of a work place... of course there are negatives to that also.. I am really struggling with this and dont know the solution... I am not a person that needs to hang out with friends all the time but I guess it has been so long since I really have had it that I am really missing it... I love spending time with Duane and we are spending more time together and doing things together that we never have done and that is cool but I guess I miss the girl thing. Anyway I am sure I will get past this pissy/lonely mood but till then anyone I am around sorry if my pissiness comes off.. nothing personal just me...

Ephiphany

So was still reviewing last week because I was thinking ok Linda really some extra snacks ?? Then it came to me.. ephiphany.. we ate out 3 Times last week... now this is a learning experience 1. we usually do not eat out 2. I thought I was making good choices 3. even though i only went up if I had not been exercising it would have been way worse. 4. Restaraunts need to start offering healthier choices because I did choose the lesser of evils on the menu.. 5. Moderation is the answer...

I love learning about this process instead of being all pissy about it... that is why I titled this blog Ephinany....

Smoke Update

Your Quit Date is:Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 12:00:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free:79 days, 16 hours, 4 minutes and 46 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked:1593
Lifetime Saved:12 days, 4 hours

First Time for Everything

Today I went to my WW meeting and guess what???? So did you guess??? Well, I was up... ahhhhhhhh.... but only .4 not that bad the thing is I have never been up during this process always, always down... so how do I look at this ????? Should I wallow ? Should I blame something or someone? Should I be pissed at myself? I dont think so... What I did is reflect on last week. I honestly looked at what I did different... I asked myself... did you eat bad food? No..

Did you not exercise? No... Did you drink all your water? I think so... So I asked myself what happened? I came up with this: I found that I was grabbing snacks.. at work.. you know a handful here and there.. not a big deal BUT they are salty and salty snacks retain water.. ok I can take care of that.. my plan.. Tell the kids if you see Miss Linda eating your snacks tell her NO!! They will love it... I also have been weight lifting for about the last 4 weeks and that change can make your metablolism do wierd things till it realizes hmmm this is going to keep going on.. so with that my plan this week is to be MORE aware of all that goes in my mouth.... I am going to practice the plan H.A.L.T. which means... before I eat I will ask myself this:
H- Hungry? A-Angry? L-Lonely? T-Tired? if the answer is yes I am really hungry then I will eat something healthy if I answer yes to any of the others then I need to drink a BIG glass of water... I will also eat lots more fresh fruit and veges.... just get back on track... so with that I am thinking positive and NOT negative. I have decided to learn from this and move on and kick some BIG LBS next week.. so I will let you know how it goes... till next time.

Being Honest

Today I sat down and read the first 3 Steps on OA... alot of the information seemed comforting but some just didnt seem to fit me.. I do recall when reading the steps the first time that I had questions about some things and was unsure of committing to everything at that time.. but I wanted to be open and follow the process. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to go thru the steps and to have went thru it one on one. I have gained so much from those 12 weeks and have learned so much about myself. I have utilized alot of things from the 12 steps in my daily life but I know that I have not embraced the program 100% as I know I should.. with that I am making a decision that I will NOT being following the OA program. I will take the knowledge that I have received and continue to follow them but I will not be telling people that I am in a 12 Step Program. I am not going to tell people that I am doing it when I am not doing the program as I should.. I have examined myself personally and feel that this is the path for me. I can without hesitation say that I am NOT a compulsive eater. I truly feel that WW will be my support in my weight loss now and forever. I will continue to grow in my faith. I will continue to seek out people who is going thru the same things as I am and share my experiences with them. I will seek support from others who are willing give that to me. I will continue to be truthful to myself as well as others. I ask that all that is important to me be truthful to me when I may be veering off my successful journey.. I will ask all to pray for me daily. I will be happy and I will continue to live my life "One Day at A Time"