Just Thinking

So lately I have been thinking of how ironic life is.. yea I know scary thought.. but anyway here goes.. So I can remember when I was at my lowest weight of 98 lbs (when I got married in 1983) and thinking if I weighed 110 lbs it would be horrible ... then thru the years of up and down I would think the same at different weights.. thoughts of if I EVER got over 150lbs I would just die.. then 160 then 170 and etc... at one time in my life I was at 235 lbs... and then I would think I cant get over 250... I never did.. this past time my Oh God moment was I am over 200lbs.. during these years I would think how horrible I looked at different weights.. well this time on this journey I am looking at things and myself differently.. it hit me the other morning when I was getting dressed in some new clothes.. I looked at myself and thought Damn, you look good.. now keep in mind I have about 24lbs to go.. but I thought that!!! What the hell how can I look good at this weight when other times I HATED myself at this weight.. now I think I look pretty good.. I can remember after I had the kids and thinking how bad I looked now when I look at pictures I am like What the Hell were you thinking? I looked good and I would give anything to look that way again but I know it is not going to happen.. What I am striving for now is to be at a healthy weight to feel good about myself and that is all.. the only reason I have a weight goal in mind is because at WW if you reach your goal you are a lifetime member and dont pay for the meetings but more importantly I would like to work at some compacity at WW's.. if it a goal weight that I dont feel comfortable at getting at or maintaining then I wont do it.. I can get a note from dr saying a certain weight is good for me and they will accept that at WW's for Lifetime membership but I wont be able to work for them. I just feel that I have alot to offer to others at WW's and would like to share my struggles and triumphs with them.. but I will cross that bridge when the time comes... so that is what I will do... so my words of wisdon to anyone who reads this is is THIS: enjoy each stage of weight loss look at yourself and see how good you REALLY look ... because you do.. dont judge yourself as hard as you know you do... go back look at yourself when you thought you were sooooo fat and you really werent just not happy with yourself you will be suprised and think to yourself "What was I Thinking?" Just enjoy yourself!!!