Going DOWN DOWN DOWN!!!!!!

• I went to WW meeting and weighed in and found out how much I have lost in 4 weeks... 11.2 lbs....!!!!!! I am really proud of how I am doing and feel confident that I am on the right track. I know that my next big step will be to add more exercise in.. I am thinking of trying to get in 10 minutes of speed walking in on the days I dont do 45 minute workout. At WW meeting they talked about that and I think it is workable so that is my goal this week... I am also going to add in more veges/fruits to my diet. I foundmyself getting carried away with how much I will have lost by the time I go to Florida.. it really blows my mind how much numbers and knowing it makes me crazy...that is why I think this is a great plan for me.

I am going to pychiatrist this week to talk with her about the obsessive/ compulsive behaviour that I have.. not only numbers but exercising.. I know that once I lose more weight I will become compulsive with exercising as well as eating so therapist thinks their may be medication that may help me.. will keep you updated ..

I am also on the 5 Step in the program.... it is a hard one.. I have to make a list of people/friends/family/business etc... that I feel resentful of .. past and prestent and it has effected me in different ways... Nicole tells me it will be very revealing when we go thru it.. I am seeing a pattern.. it was very hard to write negative things about people who you care about but I am sure that other people that care for me resent me for things... it is very eye opening... I think discussing it openly will be very emotional and raw... i am aprehensive but curious at the same time... Nicole promises me that going thru these 12 Steps will be the best thing that I have done not only for me but for everyone around me...

Church today was great....the message really blended with what I am doing in the program.. John even said several times that God is in control... He has a plan.... I am really grasping this concept however hard it is... turning myself completely over to God... why should it be so hard?? God is the Supreme Being and what He has done for me should show that I should trust him whole heartedly... but He also knows that we are human and we struggle daily but He never turns his back on me.. The song today at church was perfect... You've Got A Friend ... I never thought of that song being about God but it is to me.. it was inspirational and I want to read those words daily.... I ask you all to take the time and look up the lyrics to that song and really read it and apply the word "friend" as God... you will Never listen to that song the same again... till next time..