Milestone

I have a couple new things to celebrate... 1. My clothes are starting to hang on me!!!! Even with the draw string pants I can't make them any tighter... I am really trying NOT to buy clothes during this process because I have alot of weight to lose so that means going thru alot of clothes but it comes to a point when you have to.. SO yesterday I went shopping and made a promise to myself that if I was not in a certain size I would NOT buy anything that I would wait and deal with baggy clothes. Well low and behold I tried on that size and they FIT!!!!! So I bought 3 pair of capris ... that will hold me for a bit... I am fortunate that I can wear anything to work and even if they are baggy no big deal. but I needed something for church and going out in general... I am proud of myself and feeling very content with how I am doing... Each day I work at turning my day over to God and following his guidance because I know that he has my best interest at heart. I want this journey to be a life lesson and one that continues for the rest of my life.. I will NOT go back to being heavy and unhealthy ever... I want to be content and happy with myself and live each day to the fullest.. so however long it takes to remove my weight I have to look at it as a positive learning experience and remember that all the other times that I lost weight fast that it always came back.... as all of you know I am not a patient person and I want it NOW .... well I am learning that I have to be patient and trust myself and God and remember that the old Linda (impatient) may have gotten the results at that time but it always came back... I have been trying to figure out why I always put myself in the position of losing then regaining .. yet again another DIET etc... in one of my OA books they gave me the answer... I went on a DIET to punish myself... to me a DIET was punishment and I deserved to be punished because I had FAILED yet again.... I also believe that by going back on a diet that I felt I was in control... and I have found that I have a control issue... hmmm. slow learner I am... LOL.. but by letting go and letting God I am pleased to turn it all over to him.. and it has made this journey so much easier and non demanding.. now dont get me wrong I still have control issues... my mind takes over and I end up having panic attacks.. I start thinking about how long it will take to be at my goal or what can I do to make this go faster but then I stop and pray,blog and or talk to Nicole... these are the new tools that I have incorporated in my life and it is a awesome feeling to know that I have tools to get me thru a bump in the road... I am learning that we all make mistakes and that is ok just get back up and brush yourself off start again.. wow what a wonderul concept wish I could have learned this years ago. So with all that said... I am content with myself and facing each day with a positive and patient outlook ... Watch out all a NEW Linda is coming .. Ready or not here I come...