Monday, May 26, 2008
Panic Attack
I made it home today and wow was I in for a rude awakening to the weather.. I am used to it being 80 by 10 or so... it is nice to get back home and back into a routine. I feel back in control.. Last nite when I went to bed I laid there and kept thinking & worrying about how I may have messed up with my eating.. now I know alot of you may roll your eyes and think what the hell is wrong with her after you read the next statement.. but this is what happened.. I laid there and kept going over what I ate what choices I made that were not good and I put myself in a panic attack. My heart my beating so hard I couldnt get my breath and was sweating... I eventually fell asleep... but this really scared me ...... it still scares me because it really shows me how much work I have to do on myself... I think being away from my support system , going to WW meetings and being somewhere that I didnt feel in control of alot of situations.. I feel such a relief being at home and comfortable.. I have to accept that if I gain this week it is from my bad choices and that I will learn from it and go on... that is all I can do... I look at myself as a failure because of some bad choices I made.. I made a promise that I would NOT do it and I did... (make bad choices) I am so Pissed off at myself... because I know better... but I have learned that I just have to make myself realize that I AM NOT PERFECT no one is.... I think that has been my problem all along... I feel that I HAVE to BE PERFECT in my diets / weight loss and if I am not I look at myself as a failure and everyone around me does too... I am still working thru this and will probably go see my therapist this week.... I need to get thru this thought process and as all of you know I have not been successful doing it on my own.. With all of that.. I will not beat myself up but I will brush myself off and continue this week on WW plan.. kick up the exercise this week and hope for the best... with that I will lean on God to guide me and help me to open my heart to what he is leading / guiding me to do... I also meet with Nicole tomorrow and will get back on my steps... I am looking foward to this week and all that it holds.... keep me in your prayers as I struggle with this lastest road block in my journey...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
HI GLAD U MADE IT HOME SAFE. SOUNDS LIKE U ARE STILL ON A HIGH FROM ALL THAT SUN!! JUST TAKE IT AS IT COMES AND GIVE IT ALL UP TO GOD AND HE WILL BRING U THRU EVERYTHING. REMEMBER OTHER PEOPLE ARE IN THE SAME PLACE AS YOU RIGHT NOW AND U ARE NOT ALONE. I AM GLAD U ARE GOING TO A THERAPIST AS I THINK TALKING TO SOMEONE NETRUAL IS GOOD. SO GUESS U WILL BE GOING BACK TO WORK?? GO BACK AND GIVE ALL YOUR LOVE TO THOSE BABIES!! LOVE YOU, MOM AND DON
Panic attacks summarize a list of symptoms that occurs when we experience an overwhelming abundance of fear. You know about fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. When we feel fear creep in as it often does, we pray. We call out to friends who can offer us comfort and remind us God IS there and IS in charge of everything. Next time this happens, and it will, call me. Talk through it, you don't have to do it alone. You're never alone, but when we try to accomplish things on our own it is often pride in the way. That is why we must practice reaching out to others. We have spent our whole lives being told we can do anything if we put our mind to it, or work hard enough for it, but that is not the whole truth. We can do anything God wants us to do, and we shine the brighest when we live in his will. We are in greatest danger of falling into old habits and ways of thinking when we don't have God first in our lives. In the beginning of learning any new practice we stumble because it's new. Practice using ALL your tools, more than exercize and food choices.
Post a Comment