Juding

Last nite I went to a memorial service for an aquaintance who had committed sucide. I went because it was the "right" thing to do.. for going to make an appearance and leave. I found out that there was going to be a"memorial service"at 8 so I decided to stay... at that point I was curious.. now I realize that God kept me there... why some may ask.. because this man was a addict to alchol that had struggled for years to stay sober... as I listened to a preacher that had become this mans best friend in the past few years and found out what kind of man Wade was and the many facets he had I was truly ashamed.. because I had always judged this man as the drunk.. the man that lost his business because of his addictions.. it really put in perspective that I never tried to get to know Wade but only judged him for his weaknessess. If I had taken the time to get to know him I could have found out what a passionate man he was.. his passion for music, hunting, fishing and God. Now the passion for God came in the past years but in those few years he opened the Bible and was in awe...he wrote about his struggles and how the Bible helped him thru... he had faith in God (strong faith) as recent as February and had recorded in writing.. what pulled at my heart is what made him lose faith in such a short time? He had been sober.. but in past week before he took his life he had slipped.. but he knew God would forgive him and carry him... what what brought him to the day that he took a gun and took a drive and took his life? We will never know what despair or shame he felt those last minutes of his life.. but I do know that even though God doesnt want us to take our life that he was waiting for him.. I know that he is not struggling now. I know that maybe just maybe if Wade would have put God first that morning that he got up and reached out to him that maybe things would be different.. But for now I want to say to Wade and his family that I am sorry that I judged him for what I though he was and that I didnt look farther or deeper for the man that loved God... and wanted more... I wish you peace Wade...